The steps a widow takes…from that first day until the day when the Lord says, “Come Home”…is simply putting one foot in front of the other. Back in those early foggy, numb days, the wisdom of Elizabeth Elliot helped me do just that. Her simple, yet manageable words, “Do the Next Thing” has been a stepping stone for me, especially when the walk gets steep, lonely and threatening. That next thing might be doing the couple dishes in the sink or going to buy a car for the first time or just getting out of bed to face the day.
There are many faces of grief and while loss is loss is loss, only another woman left alone to face life without her spouse can know what those steps feel like. Regardless if her spouse was the love of her life or maybe more like a roommate, the dual partnership has been erased.
Many years before my husband went home to the Lord, I went through an identity crisis over my Hebrew name. It is Leah and although I always liked the sound of it, when I looked deeper into the meaning of it, it didn’t score high with me. Weak…unloved. Noticing how God changed people’s names in the Bible, I pleaded with Him to change my name. In that still small voice, I knew He was calling me “Betrothed”. Wow, that’s a far cry from “Unloved.” Searching the scriptures for clarity, I found the most beautiful verse in Hosea 2:19-20. “I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me In righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness and you shall know the Lord.”
I needed no further confirmation. I can’t say my husband was too thrilled with my new identity. He probably was a bit confused, as he was under the {correct} assumption I was still betrothed to him. But little did either of us realize then, that one day the Lord would become my one-and-only Husband. The name “Betrothed” would become…and still is… an anchor to my soul on those lonely and grief-stricken days.
For a very long time, the mathematical equation of widowhood was my world. One minus one-half equals one-half. I was no longer “echad” with my husband (meaning one in Hebrew as Gen 2 states).
But God has another math equation for the married and then widowed. It is from Eccl 4:12 – the threefold cord. “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”. Jesus’ divine cord faithfully runs through the marriage covenant, until ‘death do us part’. After the death of a spouse, what remains is not a weakened one-half. No, according to God’s economy, what remains is one-third woman and one-third divine power to keep the widow from being utterly broken.
I prefer this math, of my Betrothed in the equation to provide, protect, comfort and strengthen me through this Widow’s Walk.
